Have you ever really thought about your feelings?
Feelings change all the time, and this is actually ok. Did you know that? Yeah.
Can you imagine if your feelings didn’t change? Let’s think about it for a minute. What is one feeling you like to have? What is one feeling you do not like to have?
Now, imagine if you had to stay in the feeling all day long. That could be exhausting.
In my lifetime, feelings were not talked about a lot so when I had them, I did not know what to do with them. If I tried to talk about it with someone, I was often quieted. Too many times, I was told that I should not feel the way I was feeling. How confusing and disruptive to my ability to trust my own body and what it is telling me. This happens all the time.
I was just in a store and heard a mother scolding her young child for expressing his feelings. What? I strongly believe if we could learn to embrace our feelings and allow others to embrace their feelings, we may have a chance at growing and evolving as a society in a way that promotes health and wellness.
Doesn’t that sound great? I long for a world where we appreciate all that a person is instead of just parts of a person.
So, let me reiterate this one thing: it is ok to have feelings.
Feelings are how we respond to things that happen to us. A person’s face and their body can give important clues about what they may be feeling.
The key to this secret treasure is this: are we paying attention to the clues or are we focusing on what we want to say next? I wish I could tell you I always get this right. Truth is, I am as human as the next person. And this is an area I work to improve because I believe we are missing a lot when we operate just based off from the words being spoken.
I want to encourage you to start to notice the clues you see in other people’s body language and in your own body language. Look at the details of someone’s eyes, eyebrows, mouth, hands and arms, shoulders, and the posture.
Is someone smiling, do they have relaxed eyebrows, are they making fists with their hands? That’s it, just notice, be curious. Yes, just notice and get curious. Do you know what happens if we do more than just notice and be curious?
When we choose to be curious about meaning instead of forcing a meaning we grow and create space for people to be who they are. We can quiet the chatter that may be going on in our own heads and learn from others.
The next time you notice someone’s facial and body clues, ask them what that means for them. I do this more often these days, usually when I’m in the company of others, although it’s not uncommon for me to ask random strangers because I like to learn more about the other humans, I am sharing this Earth with. I will be somewhere and notice something about the person I have observed and ask them about it. I say something like this, “I just noticed you had a frown when you ended your phone call. What does that mean?” And then I listen.
Yep, it’s really that easy. I allow them to explain what their behavior meant instead of making it mean something based on my past and my experiences. I know this probably sounds like rocket science but trust me, it’s easier than it appears.
Life seems to pass by so quickly. Taking time to look at facial and body language helps us to begin to feel more heard and seen. As a counselor and coach, this is one of the number one things I hear most: people don’t feel seen or heard. We all can change this phenomenon. It starts with one person. You can be that one person.
When I chose to enroll in ECA Level 1 and Level 2, I had no idea how much I would change in a positive and uplifting way.
I learned how to pay attention to my feelings and thoughts in a more proactive way which enabled me to make decisions that were best for my future. I learned how to be present with another person in a way that removes my own biases and creates the utmost safety.
Have you taken that leap of faith to invest in yourself and move beyond your past?
By enrolling in ECA Level 1 you are well on your way to becoming who you have always dreamed of being. It’s time to go for it… You are your best investment!
~Amie, YT Master Coach